2 weeks later

Dear Reader,

It's been 2 weeks since I've updated. There's a lot of things going on with my head. My doctor told me I should relax more that's why I have decided to go to the church more. I go to the prayer room in the hospital to pray to God and I pray the before and after the meal prayer when I eat. Also I met someone last week, his name Julian. He told me he has been in this hospital for about a week and he is diagnosed of OCD and ADHD. He told me that he never thought that he have some disorders. He always thought he is normal.

We are like the hospital soulmates cause we like the same type of songs and type of movies and books. I never thought I would find someone like me.

                                                                                                                   love always,
                                                                                                                         mary

Movies and complicated and confusing

Dear Reader,

      Today, my brother visited me and he gave me some gifts from our relatives that I don't know and some of the students at school, which I don't remember their names. Then, he gave me a box full of DVDs and CDs of movies.

   

       Some of them are old, romantic, scary, or new, but mostly old. Like 70's, 80's and 90's movies. My kind of movies. You know.

       I just think that movies these days are like kinda of don't have sense. They're all about sex, big butts and mostly twerking or sex. 

They are kinda not appropriate to children or even old people. Also today I had a mail from Colt. He told me he never wanted to see me again and never call him as a friend or anything. He told me let's just be strangers.

Now, I'm confused. Is it about the kiss or he just hates even in the first day we met ? Very confusing.

                                                                                                                 Love Always,

                                                                                                                        Mary

CONFUSED

Dear Reader,
    Here I am, again. Colt visited me last night while I was sleeping. I mean he sneeked in. So, he woke me up and we played monopoly and watched " The Breakfast Club" and " Ferris Bueller's Day Off". They were a very good movie.

   While we were playing monopoly, Colt told me " Wait, I need to tell you something." He told me the reason why he visited me because he felt lonely in school and Angel has a boyfriend. I knew he liked Angel so much. He told me he felt like crying at that time. He told why Angel is so blind, why didn't she feel the love. All I can do was sit in silence. But then, all of a sudden he kissed me out of nowhere. I felt the spark in my body. But, after that he left but before he left he said sorry.
   
   He left me like a dumb cat or something. I don't know what to do. I feel like a flower that is drying out. Please help me. Please I need someone's opinion about this. I think I need some tea and some sleep. I need someone out there. I can't talk to Angel about this. It will be awkward for me.

   So tonight, I have mixed emotions. I wish my Aunt Opal was here. I can't control myself now. I need your help.

                                                                                   Love Always,

                                                                             Mary

Dear Reader

Dear Reader,
  I am writing to you because my doctor told me to tell someone about my feeling or what am i feeling today. Firstly, I am in high school and I like to read books. I'm a freshman in Abraham Lincoln High School (San Francisco). I only have 2 friends, Colt and Angel, they are seniors and they are going to graduate in May. Basically my life is like the book or movie that is "The Perks of Being A Wallflower." I am here at the University of California, San Francisco, Department of Psychiatry Center.

This is where people, mostly teenagers go when they have mental problems or disorders that are very very dangerous and strong, I think. So, I got here because my doctor told me I have ADHD,  social anxiety disorder and OCD. They told my parents that I am going to be here for about 2 months and my social anxiety disorder is very dangerous when mostly i get too shy or angry. So, my doctor suggest I'll stay here and my family have to visit me 3 or 4 time a week to keep me warm and comfort and happy.

So, today I'm feeling normal nothing much and it's 9:57 p.m. and I've got to go to sleep at 10:00. So, this were it ends see you next time. And thank you for not sleeping or getting bored while reading this.

                                                                                                                    Love always,

                                                                                                                           Mary

REALLY COMPLICATED

YESTERDAY BRYCE ASKED ME OUT. HE TOLD ME TO MEET HIM AT THE CINEMA AT 6. I WAS THERE ON TIME. HE NEVER REALLY COME. I WAITED FOR 4 HOURS AND HE DIDN'T EVEN TEXTED ME THAT HE CAN'T COME BUT NOT TELLING ME OR TEXTING ME OR CALLING ME ABOUT NOT COMING TO OUR DATE. I THINK WE ARE COMPLICATED.

DOUBTFUL

I THINK  BRYCE IS HESITATING ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP. HIS FRIENDS ARE HAVING A PARTY BUT HE DOESN'T WANT TO GO. I REALLY REALLY WANT TO GO. I THINK HE DIDN'T TOLD HIS FRIENDS ABOUT US. LIKE HE IS ASHAMED ABOUT US BEING TOGETHER. IF HE IS ASHAMED FOR BEING TOGETHER THEN WHY DID HE ASKED ME TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND. HE IS SO STUPID ABOUT IT. I WANT A GUY WHO WILL LIKE FOR WHO I AM. AND WHO DOESN'T HIDE ME TO HIS FRIENDS. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH HIM ? PLEASE HELP ME.

DTR

SO, BRYCE AND I ALREADY DTRed AND IT WAS TRUE. HE LIKES ME AND WE ARE TOGETHER NOW LIKE BOYFRIEND GIRLFRIEND TOGETHER. I NEVER THOUGHT IN A MILLION YEARS, BRYCE WOULD LIKE ME. OMG THIS IS SO SHOCKING AT SAME TIME, I'VE GOT BUTTERFLIES IN ME STOMACH. THIS IS THE FEELING OF BEING IN LOVE.